Dishing With the Divas

Candice ponders historical slang and offers a quiz

When Bella blogged about her new favorite Urban Dictionary, it was suggested in the comments that I blog about historical language, so here I am.

My favorite dictionary is the Regency equivalent of Bella's Urban Dictionary: The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue: Buckish Slang, University Wit and Pickpocket Eloquence. Originally compiled by Captain Francis Grose in 1785, it is the expanded 1811 edition that has survived and is still in print. It is so much fun that you can simply begin with A and read through it all the way to Z, laughing all the way.

Here are a few entries that might surprise modern readers as being 200 years old:

* Pig = A police officer (I thought we'd invented that one in the 1960s)
* Shag = To copulate (No, Austen Powers did not invent the term)
* Cheese it = Be silent (which was used in so many 1930s gangster movies that I expected it was slang of that period)
* Birthday suit = stark naked
* Kick the bucket = die
* Chip off the old block = child
* Gift of the gab = a facility of speech
* Nuts about = fond of

That last term especially would throw me if I read it in a historical romance, thinking it was a modern phrase.  But apparently it's been around since at least 1785.

One thing about the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue is that it is indeed vulgar. The number of slang terms for male and female genitalia as well as for the sex act is rather extraordinary.  With apologies, I hereby discard my ladylike demeanor to share a few vulgarities with you:

Another favorite subject for colorful euphemisms is vomiting:
* To cast up one's accounts
* To shoot the cat
* To flay the fox
* To flash the hash

And death:
* To cock up one's toes
* To stick one's spoon in the wall
* To give the crows a pudding

And here are a few of my favorite colorful terms and phrases:
* Barber's chair = a prostitute; "she is as common as a barber's chair, in which a whole parish sit to be trimmed."
* Shut your bone box = shut your mouth
* Bran-faced – freckled; "he was christened by a baker, he carries the bran in his face."
* Ginger-hackled = red-haired
* Scandal broth = tea
* Done to a cow's thumb = done exactly
* Dance upon nothing = to be hanged
* That happened in the reign of Queen Dick = it never happened
* He has made a napkin of his dishcloth = he has married his cook maid
* To flash one's ivory = to smile and show one's teeth
* To stir one's stumps = to walk fast

You can see more examples of Regency slang in the Regency Glossary on my website.

Finally, a little quiz.  Can you match the term or phrase in the first list to the correct definitions in the second list?

 

Some of those are pretty easy, if you read Regencies. Others are pretty obscure. I'll post the answers in a comment Tuesday night.  Have fun!

Barbara Asks: What's Your Pet Peeve?

So last night I recorded the Survivor finale because I was busy doing Mom's day stuff, and although I haven't followed the season that closely, I got caught up in the last two weeks when I watched this group of conniving, brilliant women completely blindside every strong guy out there and get them off the island.  Those of you who watched the show will know what I'm talking about.  It was a fairly entertaining show this season.

But on to my pet peeve.  I get home and turn on my computer to check my email and I go on to the Internet and there blasting on my home page is the name of the winner of Survivor.  Being on the west coast, this happens more times than I care to say, especially with awards shows.  Last time the Oscars were on, I made the same mistake of accidentally going on line and finding out which movie won best picture.  Why can't the Internet sites simply tag the line, "Winner announced" or something and let those who want to click on the link, click?   I now try to remember not to go online if I'm watching something where I want to enjoy the show.   

Along the same lines, what's up with ABC interrupting a great interview Oprah had going with Barbara Walters to break into the broadcast to simply announce that ABC was predicting that Obama was going to win some primary ... this was at 4:15 on the west coast, and only 17% of the vote had been counted and was this really such earth shattering news that we couldn't wait until the 5:00 newscast?  It wasn't like the race was over, and the nomination was in.  And while I could see the announcement, Charlie Gibson then followed up by interviewing George Stephanopolous about what must they be thinking in the Clinton camp.  Seriously, at that particular moment I was far more interested in which senator Barbara Walters had an affair with ... LOL.    I think the phones at ABC must have been ringing off the hook, because at the end of the Oprah show, they re-ran the missed part of the broadcast. 

Now, I know most of you out there are probably saying, "Barbara, if you want to avoid these pesky problems, stop watching TV".  LOL  What can I say, I sometimes procrastinate ... 

Since I've confessed my pet peeves, I've decided to open up the blog today to discussing our pet peeves, or just general whining, ranting, raving, getting things off your chest ... kind of day - what we like to call a little Diva Blog Therapy!

"So what's bugging you? 

Keeping it Real...A Conversation with Pediatric ER Doctor C.J. Lyons

Welcome to Brenda Novak's Expert Friday! Today, the divas are thrilled to welcome author and pediatric ER doctor CJ Lyons!  

About CJ...

As a pediatric ER doc, CJ Lyons has lived the life she writes about.  CJ loves sharing the secret life of an urban trauma center with readers.  She also loves breaking the rules:  Her debut medical suspense novel LIFELINES is a cross-genre to the extreme combining women's fiction with medical with thriller pacing with romantic elements and is told from the point of view of the women of Angels of Mercy Medical Center.  Publishers Weekly proclaimed LIFELINES (Berkley, March 2008) "a spot-on debut...a breathtakingly fast paced medical thriller" and Romantic Times made it a top pick.  Contact her at http://www.CJLyons.net. 

Keeping it Real...

Brenda asked me to discuss medicine in real life versus medicine in fiction and entertainment, asking me, as a pediatric ER doctor who also writes:  what drives me crazy about stories with medicine in them?

Well, to start with, don't use TV as your model if you're looking for reality!  Otherwise all those sexy, world-famous surgeons on Grey's Anatomy would be in their mid to late fifties, if not older, by the time they finish their training.  And they're seducing 25 year old interns--yech!

But, I can overlook inaccuracies if the rest of the story holds together--even such outrageous ones as in the TV show House.  Why?  Because just as in all professions, there are different ways of doing thing and no one is always right.

My biggest turnoffs when it comes to medicine in fiction are stereotyped characters.  For seventeen years I practiced medicine in major urban trauma centers, small rural clinics, and everything in between.

I've flown in helicopters to tiny hospitals where you had to ring a doorbell to be let in after 10 p.m.  I've made house calls, treated millionaires as well as the homeless--don't ask me which make better patients, LOL.  I've met thousands of medical professionals and, believe it or not, we're just like everyone else.

For instance, someone once asked me to check a section of manuscript for medical inaccuracies.  in it she had her pediatrician hero, a man in solo practice in the snow belt of Pennsylvania, driving a Porsche convertible.  I told her that made me laugh out loud and she was quite offended as she thought the car characterized him and that readers wouldn't expect anything less than a doctor driving a Porsche or other expensive car.

Guess what?  Fiction is meant to be a lie--you can use anything you want. But, if you want to capture the true character of a pediatrician in solo practice living in the snow belt, you'd better think about giving him an all wheel drive car that can get him to the hospital for emergencies at three in the morning during a blizzard.  And it'd better be inexpensive to buy and maintain, because pediatricians are among the lowest paid physicians around.

Stereotypes--all physicians are rich, driving Porsches.  Be aware of them.  twist and turn them to get to the heart of your character.  That's how you'll breathe life into them.

TV and movies do have some great techniques to add life to any medical drama.

In HOUSE, the doctors make the wrong diagnosis, often harming their patient in the process, three times before they finally get it right.

It's set up that way on purpose--using a screenwriter's tool called Impressive Failure. And it works because each failure ups the stakes, reveals something new (either about the patient or the medical characters), and adds the sense of time running out.  This sense of impending doom builds and builds until...you got it....Doctor House himself finally steps in and saves the day.

In real life, if we doctors screwed up three times for every one we got things right, none of us would still be practicing medicine.

The early years of ER got a lot of the technical details right (close enough) but more importantly it really captured the emotional roller coaster of working in an ER.  Check out the pilot episode sometime--ignore the medicine and concentrate on the character arc, from emotional high when things work to emotional low when a patient is lost and immediately back up again.

It also revealed the different personality types at work in any medical setting:

Like George Clooney's pediatrician character may have a screwed up personal life and many times is a not so nice person outside the hospital, but he'll put his career and even his life on the line to protect the kids he treats.

Or the surgeon who truly believes a chance to cut is a chance to cure and has walled off his emotions so that he can be absolutely focused every time he opens up a patient.  Of course, that same intense focus doesn't always make for great dinner conversation when you take him out of the OR.

The internist who is rattling off lists of symptoms and differential diagnoses and tests--searching for the zebra among the horses that makes medicine interesting to him.

And finally the ER doctors--we're a hybrid breed--and pediatric ER docs more than most.  Adrenalin junkies, unable to sit still, managing a dozen patients simultaneously and thriving on it, smiling when the code alert goes off--that's us.

We live for the challenge of bringing order to chaos, not just one patient at a time like a surgeon has, but in mass quantities.

Yeah, we're sick puppies. And you know what?  It's just as addictive as writing!

And one thing TV and the movies have that doesn't happen in real life (at least not to me!) is the sex going on in every nook and cranny of the hospital.

Doesn't mean it wouldn't have been fun if it had happened--as long as you don't mind being paged twenty times or the smell of sweaty scrubs and if you can find a private corner--nothing in a hospital is private.

Hmmm...maybe if I had worked alongside with someone like George Clooney or Patrick Dempsey...I might just have to fantasize--er--think about that and try to come up with a realistic way to make it happen in my next book!

Thanks for reading!

CJ

Monica Suffers From a New Disorder: E-mail Paranoia

First a little aside . . . A HUGE Diva Congratulations to Anne Mallory for making the USA Today Best Seller List yesterday with THREE NIGHTS OF SIN!  Congratulations, Anne!  And if you didn't see Jami's interview with Anne on Tuesday make sure to check it out below.

I’m finding myself suffering from recurring bouts of a new disorder.  It comes upon me suddenly when I find out that either (1) I didn’t receive an e-mail message or (2) someone didn’t receive one of mine. 

Then, what they used to call in law school a “parade of horribles” runs through my mind.  I’m immediately certain that I’ve missed tons of EXTREMELY important messages—editor and agent messages are usually the first that come to mind.  Or, if someone happens to have not responded to an email I sent in the last day or two, I worry that they might not have received it.  This is usually followed by a resend with the “my email has been on the blink so in case you didn’t receive this” type of segue.  Inevitably the person did receive it and I feel like a jerk for putting them in the position of having to account for not getting back to me right away. 

I love email, but the “missing message” phenomenon happens often enough—usually once every couple of weeks—to always be at work in the back of my mind.  I know the day will come when that very important email is either not delivered or not received. 

It makes me wonder about how much we rely on technology.  I know the USPS is not perfect, but I can’t remember the last time I had a piece of mail or a package go missing.

But here’s what I want to know…where do all these missing messages go?  Are there tiny little bits of my messages in random servers strewn all over the country? 

So how about you . . . do you suffer from e-mail paranoia?  Are we becoming too reliant on email when the error rate is still pretty high?  When is the last time you sent a letter to a friend by snail mail?  Do you have an email disaster you want to share?

Kate ponders flights of fancy

I have to credit Heather Havrilesky (Salon TV critic and angry blogger) with today’s inspiration. She wrote a recent (5/4) “I Like to Watch” column for Salon, the online magazine that shows up in my email box. Remember how Karin started us off this week with her “I live for email” post?

Well Heather wrote praising Showtime’s “This American Life” and explaining why she’s drawn to it. She wrote about days when one merely survives. Now Divas don’t exactly have those kinds of days, what with dramatic scenes unfolding in our imaginations and Esmeralda cooking up a storm and the boas blowing in the breeze as we jaunt off to book signings. But if we did have the sort of laundry-piling-up, kids-getting-chickenpox, deadline-looming, existential-despair-setting-in days, she offers an antidote—“our romantic flights of fancy,” “the richness of our internal lives.”

She says, “Even though we may only recognize some variation on survival mode in each other, even though we mouth trivialities and small talk, inside us there’s a kaleidoscope of emotions, a million and one imaginative leaps to faraway places, along with looming questions and unfocused needs and bouts of nostalgia.” Inside us--that's the key. I've always thought that's the key to our books, too, the insides of our heroes and heroines--their wit, their pain, their longings. In describing the show, Havrilesky describes a Diva’s daily work—“following your whims wherever they lead, unraveling a thread of an idea and then weaving it back together and unraveling it again until you understand something new about yourself and the world.” As we settle into our characters' heads, we're off living their inner lives as well as our own.
One of my favorite writers depends almost entirely on creating a character's inner life--Kazuo Ishiguro. A Pale View of Hills is all about memory and imagination.

So thanks to Heather for so clearly naming the richness of life and books, and here’s an invitation to everybody today--open a book and let the flights of fancy begin. Oh, and tell us what you find. What are you reading today?
And, P.S., Leah Braemel, still waiting for an email from you as one of the quiz winners from two Wednesday’s ago.

The Divas Welcome Anne Mallory!

Today I'm very excited to welcome author (and friend and Starbucks writing buddy) Anne Mallory.  Anne writes fabulous historical romances full of clever characters and intricate story lines with lots of twists and turns. Her latest is THREE NIGHTS OF SIN.  Here's what Romantic Times had to say about it,"Mallory lights up the pages with a tale that triples readers' pleasure thanks to her hallmark sense of emotion and passion, adventure and delicious dialogue. All this creates a highly memorable story."

I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy, and I have to say I heartily agree!

Tell us a little about THREE NIGHTS OF SIN.

Three Nights of Sin is an 1825 set historical romance. London is in a panic over a series of grisly murders and the authorities are eager to find anyone on whom to pin the blame. When Marietta Winters' brother falls into their hands, she needs help fast. But the only one she can turn to is a mysterious man who demands an exorbitant fee or three favors.

This was such a great story. I especially love Gabriel. Will we see him again in another story?

I really loved writing Gabriel. I'd like to write him into another tale, and there are definitely other story ideas pinging around that would involve him (and Marietta). :)

We love to talk process here at the Divas. What's yours? Do you plot? Do you plan? Do you brainstorm?

I do plot. I tend to make a sparse outline for each chapter (I use Excel spreadsheets because I luuurve them) and then free write the in between points and transitions that I don't have. A sort of mishmash plotting and pantsing, but I definitely have to have my destination in mind, so I probably fall into the plotter category. I often brainstorm on paper with a pencil, little drawn boxes and squiggly lines that go nowhere. Or sometimes on the phone with my Mom or at a restaurant with my husband -- and then I have to draw the squiggly lines with the tip of my finger into the couch cushions or with a corn chip on my plate.

What made you decide to first put pen to paper (or, I guess fingers to keyboard) and start writing? What drew you to historical romance?

I've always been a diehard romance reader, so romance was where my pen wandered. September 11th was actually the day when I truly started on the book writing path. I didn't have anything to read and I couldn't bear to watch the tv, the Internet, etc. anymore. I had watched for about six hours straight and was emotionally drained. I pulled up a Word document and started typing a story that had a happy ending and zero real conflict. It helped get me through the weeks of aftermath, and by then I was hooked -- though I had to painfully revise the "zero conflict" issue.

Historicals have always been my love. I love the combination of fantasy and fairytale (and sometimes pure grit!) that the sub-genre embraces. :)

Have you ever considered writing in another genre?

Yes. I have a love for fantasy - urban fantasy in particular. Though now that market is through the roof, so there is plenty for me to read instead. :) But someday I think that would be fun to write too.

When you're not writing enviably clever historical romance with a mysterious twist, what else do you like to do?

I love to play games (board games, trivia games, sports games, team games) and I take any opportunity to drag others into playing. I also love water sports, so summer is an especially favorite time of the year! And of course, the Internet is my favorite form of daily entertainment. I'm an addict.

Anne and I share an appreciation for dumb stuff that finds itself onto the web. Anne, care to share some of your favorite time suck websites?

Oh my yes. Jami and I could probably post all kinds of scandalous Internet sites and memes. Here is a family friendly one though, if you haven't tried the lol: <http://icanhascheezburger.com/>

Tell us what's coming next!

I have a book coming out in November that deals with a very bad boy. :) I just finished copyedits for it. Next up: Sending Jami more Internet sites to mire herself in...and finishing my next book which is scheduled for 2009.

Thanks for having me, Divas!!!

Thanks for blogging with us Anne!  Anne will be popping in all day to answer your questions. One lucky poster will win her choice of books from Anne's backlist, so bring on the comments!

Karin wants to know, what gets you out of bed each day?

My answer is pretty sad.  Email.  Yep, email.  Especially email from my agent or editor.  I love surprises, good surprises that is first thing in the morning. Like my new cover for Master of Torment that came one morning last week.  Or the news that my debut novel was being excerpted in Cosmopolitan magazine.  Or a great review or an email from a reader who totally dug one of my books.  I love to hear from friends who have sold or hit a list or finaled in a contest. Or a friend who is excited by a request from their dream agent or editor.  I feel like when I get to my email it’s hooking up with friends. I visit my daily blog roll, chat, and best of all, no one cares I’m in my robe and haven’t brushed my teeth.  J

For me, almost every morning is like a mini Christmas.  Mostly I get prezzies in my inbox, but there is the occasional rock or chunk of coal. Those?  I’d love to delete but if it requires my attention then I must address it.  I find that dealing with an issue sooner then later is much easier on the nerves.

Since email is a vital part of my job, I guess you could say I can’t wait to go to work each morning.  But on the days I don’t have to go to work, the first thing I do is check my email. I mean I certainly don’t want to miss anything!

Do you?  Are you as attached to your email as I am?  Do you feel like if you can’t log on, the party is going on without you?  Or do you feel isolated from the world?

Now, if your email doesn't get you hopping out of bed, what does?

Bella's Excited about Urban Dictionary

I'm lucky to have a fantastic family on both sides. My parents watch my kids one day a week and my mother-in-law watches them a different day each week. My brother and his wife and kids are down in SoCal, so we don't see them nearly enough, but two of my husband's three brothers live close by so we get to hang out with them and their kids quite a bit. (Needless to say, all we have to say to my 3 1/2 year old is, "Do you want to see your cousins today?", and he's in heaven!) My neices and nephews range in age from 20 to 2, with pretty much every age represented in between. (That's a picture from my kid's birthday party this past summer....only about 1/2 of my husband's side of the family are present. Yes, we take up a lot of tables when we got out to eat!)

A couple weekends ago I was talking with my 19 year old neice, Erin, and her mom, Linda (my wonderful sister in law who not only offered out of the blue to read my Game For Anything galley for typos, but then called and gushed over the book!), about a wonderful piece of contemporary teen-speak I'd picked up from America's Next Top Model. It's not PG rated, so I won't repeat it here, but suffice it to say I liked it enough to put it in my current book. ;-) Which was when Erin and Linda told me about a site called Urban Dictionary. They told me to sign up for a subscription, and then, every day I'd get an email with a new word or phrase of the day.

Can I just say, I love it!!!

A few early favorites: dk;dc = don't know, don't care. showmancing = when the stars of a TV show or movie have a romance that ends pretty much when they're done promoting the movie. bogart = to keep something all to yourself.

But they're not all new terms. Yesterday, the word of the day was Q.E.D. Um, seriously, have today's kids never heard that? And a couple days before that it was "I'll pencil you in". As far as I'm concerned, those have been around a long time. I feel so retro. So in the know from twenty years ago.

If I wrote YA, I'd practically live on this site. As it is, I find myself wanting to drop the new words and phrases into conversation all the time.

I'd love to know if you've got any great suggestions for fun language web sites. Find any fun new words at random on the Urban Dictionary website? Or, for those of you with teenagers, what's currently coming out of their mouths that makes you laugh (or that you wish you could say yourself)?

CAROL INTRODUCES HER PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Yesterday Allison told how the stress of everyday life was interrupting her creative process and I advised her to get a Personal Assistant or check into a spa for a mud bath and a hot stone massage.  With a personal assistant like my Esmerelda, you never have to leave home because she can do everything!  Clean the swimming pool, give Shiatsu massages, fix minor plumbing problems, and prepare buffet dinners for 50 of my closest friends. 

In case you think I overwork her, check out how happy she looks in the photo.  She's the one on the left, to the right is her assistant.  Of course she doesn't have to wear a uniform all the time, but she wants to.  At night she wears a black dress and a white apron with my initials on it.   

Now here she is in her own words -

Hi Everyone.  I just want to say that Ms Carol is the nicest, kindest and most generous person I have ever worked for.  Every morning after I iron the wrinkled pages of the New York Times, I squeeze the orange juice for her and her husband (who by the way adores her) and take out a pan of hot popovers for their breakfast.  Then I go to her office and print out all her e-mail messages so she doesn't have to squint at the screen.  Squinting causes wrinkles and wrinkles send her to Thailand where she has all her medical work done.  Not that she needs it.  Well, that's all for now.  It's time for me to stir up some Margaritas so she can relax on the deck and gaze at the sunset after a hard day of making up those stories about sheiks and billionaires.  I hope some day I'll have time to read one.   

Carol here - If you don't already have a personal assistant, I encourage you to get one.  Unless you have a better idea for avoiding stress?  Let me hear about it.

Allison Talks About Changes

This year has had major ups and a few downs. The delay in my house was a major stress factor for me, resulting in my first late book. After nine books, I'd never had a time where I literally couldn't write because of external stress. Before, if a kid was sick, I could take the day off and catch up at night, or if I was under the weather, I might catch up over the weekend. Sometimes I'd get stuck in the story and go back and revise until I became unstuck. But with PLAYING DEAD, I literally couldn't not write and it wasn't because the story wasn't there . . . it was because mentally, I wasn't.

BUT, I did finish the book and revisions and I'm getting the copyedits tomorrow. I'm very, very excited now because this book was a challenge in many ways, but I think it turned out okay. (And I got my new cover! I love it . . . I think it's my favorite cover to date, which is hard because I really loved KILLING FEAR, too.)

While I've started the next book (SUDDEN DEATH, the first book in my FBI series--a series that still needs a name BTW, see below) I haven't gotten deep into the story. I've been spending a lot of time researching a couple things, especially Special Operations and mercenaries. So this is actually a good time to take a break and work on the copyedits.

Which means that I'll be writing this book in my new office! Yes, my house closes tomorrow. We signed docs this afternoon, the loan will be funded in the morning, and if all goes as it's supposed to (ha!) we'll have the keys tomorrow afternoon. This has been the major headache in my life, but also my dream. I've been wanting my own office for some time. And while I love writing at Starbucks, I need my own space. To say I'm excited is an understatement.

There are a few more obstacles--like I need to find a desk, order custom bookshelves, seal the hardwood floors, and well, MOVE--but it's close. Since I'll be expecting deliveries next week, I'll be sitting at the wet bar working on my copy edits in my empty house. (This picture is the view from my office window!)

Another major change, but one I'm happy about. Of course, as some of the Divas have teased me about, what if I can't write in my new office? What if I have to go back to Starbucks? Well, we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? I'll force myself. And treating myself to a new iMac may be just the thing I need to keep me in my new office . . .

And there's one more change on the horizon. I'm launching a supernatural thriller series about the Seven Deadly Sins. I'm very excited about this, too, because I've been wanting to write this series for five years. I'd actually started it before I sold my debut novel THE PREY, but when we sold that I put the other genre book on the back burner.

But, the supernatural thriller isn't really that different from what I'm writing now. There will still be a villain--both a demon and a human villain--and there will still be a crime to solve. There will be a relationship story throughout the series (actually, at least two), but rather than an HEA at the end of every book, the relationships will continue and grow over the course of the series (I sold the first three of a proposed seven-book series.) It's a very real-world supernatural story. Here's my one-liner (thanks to Toni McGee Causey for help in condensing it for me!)

Three strangers -- a seminarian haunted by a massacre of priests, an Irish woman once possessed by a demon, and a cynical true-crime writer -- must join forces to stop one of the Seven Deadly Sins released from Hell, the demon Envy, or an entire community will lose their lives and their eternal souls.

So, that's it for me . . . a lot of changes going on, but all pretty good. And now that the stress of buying the house is over, I'm in a much better state of mind. It was really weird, to be honest. I generally handle stress very well and it rarely impacts my activities. This was unusual for me, and not something I ever want to repeat. So . . . no moving for a long, long, LONG time.

How do you handle major stress? Especially about something you have no control over, but which hugely impacts your daily life?

Now, on the FBI series . . .  a couple weeks ago over at Murder She Writes I asked for help in naming my FBI series. I sent my favorites to my editor, but nothing that really jumped out at me and said "Yes! That's my name!" My editor is thinking it over and enlisting the help of an idea guru over there who is great with titles and things like that. Still, I'm open . . . the series premise is: An elite group of FBI agents form a Violent Crimes task force at Quantico to tackle complex and/or high profile crimes including serial murders, kidnappings, mass murders, hostage situations, etc. They have forensic/evidence response team training and a specialty (like weapons, bombs, crime scene photography, forensic anthropology, etc.) The series takes the same group of recurring characters, but each book focuses on someone within the unit. Squad, unit, or team are all terms that would fit. So if you have any ideas . . . post!

The Divas welcome author CELESTE BRADLEY!

I am very pleased to welcome Celeste Bradley to our blog today.  Celeste is the author of over a dozen best-selling Regency-set historical romances, including the wonderful Liar's Club series. She has a brand new back-to-back trilogy, the Heiress Brides series, available now. The first two books in the series, DESPERATELY SEEKING A DUKE and THE DUKE NEXT DOOR, came out in March and April, and the third book, DUKE MOST WANTED, hits the bookstores today!  I've read the first two and can't wait to get my hands on the third book. You can read excerpts for each book on her website.

Candice: Thanks for joining us, Celeste.  First, let me offer huge Diva congratulations on hitting the NY Times Bestseller List with both DESPERATELY SEEKING A DUKE and THE DUKE NEXT DOOR. I'm pretty sure this is your first showing on that list, right? What did you do to celebrate?

Celeste: Thank you! It is definitely my first showing on the list.  I was hoping that maybe, just possibly, there was a slim chance that the third book in the trilogy might make an appearance. I was not prepared for this sort of response. To celebrate my family went out to PF Chang's for a crazy anything-you-want dinner. We ate and laughed and tried every dessert. It was a blast.

Candice: Here's hoping you have one more celebration ahead for DUKE MOST WANTED! Your Heiress Brides trilogy is about three young women who are racing to be the first in their family to wed a duke in order to secure a large inheritance. For those who haven't yet had the pleasure of reading them, can you give a quick description of each story?

Celeste: In DESPERATELY SEEKING A DUKE, Phoebe is a repressed vicar's daughter who made a youthful romantic mistake. Ever since she's been terrified to step over the line. At a ball she meets a charming fellow and accepts a proposal from him the next morning. Unfortunately, it turns out that her fiancé is not the handsome, laughing rake from the ball, but his stern, more socially advantageous brother. Phoebe has to chose between being the good girl her family wants her to be or being the woman who follows her heart.

In THE DUKE NEXT DOOR, lovely, Society-bred Deidre sees her chance to wed the somber but admirable Calder, whom she has secretly loved for years, and makes him an offer he cannot refuse. Once wed, however, she learns that she has been manipulated as surely as she manipulated him. In this sexy battle of wills, Deirdre must learn that sometimes losing her heart can win it all.

In DUKE MOST WANTED, plain and studious Sophie isn't hunting for anything but a few good books and time to spend with her friend Lord Graham Cavendish. He might be a layabout younger son, but he's the only man who has ever looked past the dull exterior to Sophie's wry wit. When Graham abruptly inherits a crumbling estate and must look for a rich bride, Sophie flings her safe existence to the winds and breaks out as the newest beauty in Society, for she can't bear to see Graham wed anyone else!

Candice: Each of the three Heiress Bride stories has a fairy tale at its core. Can you talk a bit about how those fairy tales inspired the stories?

Celeste: In DESPERATELY SEEKING A DUKE, I focused on "Sleeping Beauty" with the metaphor being Phoebe's slumbering passions. She has been virtually imprisoned in "Thornton" after suffering what I liked to call "a small prick" of Fate. [Candice: LOL! That is too cruel, Celeste!!!] Rafe is the prince who arrives in time to kiss awake her sleeping heart and return her to the land of the living.

In THE DUKE NEXT DOOR, I was never sure if Calder was the Beast [in The Beauty and the Beast], or Deirdre, or Calder's daughter Meggie. There were moments when I thought it might be the cat. Then I realized that the real Beast was Pride. Calder can't relent, Deirdre won't relent and Meggie is simply relentless. I especially enjoyed my own little private joke with the butler and the maid--Does anyone remember Lumiere?

In DUKE MOST WANTED, of course, it is "Cinderella" although there are definitely elements of "The Ugly Duckling." Sophie acquires a Fairy Godfather and is transformed by her determination to win the Prince. A classic story that I hope was fortified by Sophie's quirky individuality. And who doesn't love a makeover?

Candice: I love makeover stories and can't wait to see Sophie blossom!  One of the things I love about your books is the way you always manage to have all these funny, quirky, very individualized and vivid secondary characters that just leap off the page. I loved Fortescue, Stickley, and Wolfe! And of course I adored Button in your Liar's Club series. Do any of these great characters ever threaten to take over a story so that you have to rein them in? Has any secondary character ever gotten under you skin to the extent that you just HAD to write his/her story? Is there one particular character whose story readers most often ask for?

Celeste: I actually have no idea where they come from, my cast of thousands. I start out with a hero and a heroine, just like everyone else does, and then in walk all these people! Sometimes I have trouble keeping them quiet long enough to tell my romance! But I love them and they keep things hopping plot-wise, so I let them stay--most of them. Some never really catch on and some end up with their own fan clubs! Button (Lementeur) has a following and so does another one of my imperious butlers, Pearson (sometimes known as Jeeves). Kurt the Knife is a brutal assassin who bakes a mean creampuff and readers still clamor for him to find romance!

In the Heiress Brides, I had to let Fortescue fall in love. He was just so alone in his severity that I knew there was something burning underneath. It was so gratifying to finally get to do that! And I also became very fond of Stickley, even though he is supposed to be one of my villains. I don't love Wolfe, but I have to admit he fascinated me. I've never written someone who was so completely and totally self-involved!

There are times when I am tempted to turn the whole zoo loose and see what happens but my editor always manages to rein me in. "Deliver the fantasy!" Still, I do have fun!

Candice: We always like to ask an author about her writing process. Are you an outliner or a panster? An early morning writer, or a night owl?

Celeste: My writing process . . . it starts with white water rafting through my original idea--fast and furious and barely in control. Then there's a bit of portage . . . difficult and boring plotting in order to bring matters back in order. Then there's right over the waterfall in a panicked rush to make my deadline. Minor injuries sometimes occur.

Candice: LOL! I think we can all identity with that deadline panic. What's up next for you after the Heiress Brides?

Celeste: I just contracted for a new trilogy, another trio of romantic comedies. I have a few spy stories left to tell, but for now I'm lowering the body count and keeping things light. The next trilogy is based loosely on a favorite movie from the '80s--can't tell more until I get it all nailed down, but it promises to be the funniest and sexiest project yet!

Candice: Well, now you've intrigued us!  An 80s movie, eh?  Hmm ...

A big Diva THANK YOU to Celeste for joining us today.  She promises to pop in throughout the day to answer your questions. And she has generously offered to give away a copy of the first book in the Heiress Brides series, DESPERATELY SEEKING A DUKE, to one lucky commenter.  We'll pick a name at random from all today's comments, so let the discussion begin!

Barbara Ponders the Cinderella Story

Before I get started on my topic - I want to let you all know that I'm doing a live radio interview on BlogTalk Radio (today) Monday morning at 9:00 a.m. (Pacific time).  I'll be discussing my new books, SILENT RUN and SILENT FALL and also just writing in general.  You can participate or just listen at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AngelLesa - come by and say hello if you're free.

Okay, on to the topic of the day ...  the Cinderella Story.

At the heart of many, many romances is the Cinderella story ... the woman who escapes her dreary, hard existence for a wonderful moment, a transformation by a fairy godmother, a chance meeting with a prince, a man who sees her for who she really is and whisks her away to the life she always dreamed about ... it's a powerful story and certainly for those of us who read romance novels, it is played out in various forms in a lot of books from historicals to contemporaries and even to paranormals.  Harlequin Presents is a category line that has long been known for the super alpha hero, the Greek shipping tycoon, the American billionaire, the rich, handsome sheihk - all very popular story lines.  But I think the Cinderella story line plays out in a lot of story lines where it doesn't seem so obvious.  Certainly the market's current fascination with alpha heroes indicates that women are looking for a hero ... maybe not a prince per se, but definitely a man with hero potential.   

I was also watching a re-run of a Sex and the City episode last night where Carrie Bradshaw and the  ladies wonder if deep down every strong, independent career woman still has a hankering to be ... rescued.  In the episode  Charlotte is hit on a by sleezy guy in a bar, then rescued by a man who stands up for her and literally punches out the guy hitting on her.  She thinks she's found her prince until on the second date he punches out a guy who bumps into her chair. Suddenly she realizes that her prince isn't trying to rescue her; he just likes to start fights. 

Samantha has a rescue fantasy with a fireman but her hot night in the firehouse turns out to be a night of eating chili and watching football on a big screen TV with a bunch of firemen, not exactly the fantasy she had in mind.  When she tries to seduce the fireman, they get interrupted by an actual fire call, and she ends up half-naked and alone in the firehouse. 

Carrie has a problem on a date, misses a ferry, is all alone on the wharf and winds up settling for a ride with a man ... who, as she says, isn't riding a horse and wearing a suit of armor, but he is driving a BMW with a working heater, and sometimes a girl has to take what she can get.  LOL  I think the fun of this particular episode is that they played with the idea that strong women still have a yearning for that prince of a guy, even though they can be very difficult to find. 

I think the cool part of a "rescue" or "Cinderella" fantasy is when the heroine in a sense rescues the hero as much as he rescues her.  In the movie, EVER AFTER, they turned the fairytale upside down, in one scene the Cinderella character clearly rescues the prince from a bunch of bandits.  I like the idea that in this version, the Cinderella story is about two people who, together, become so much better than what they were on their own.  Perhaps, that's the real truth.  Maybe women aren't just looking to be rescued, but also to be needed, to be so important to the man in their lives that they rescue him, too.

Even in romantic suspense, where women are often kick-ass heroes in their own right, there is usually a strong man in the mix, someone who rises to the occasion, who often puts his life on the line just as the heroine might.  I still think that there are traces of Cinderella, even if it's very subtle - the woman is stuck in a place that could be anywhere, even her own head, and it's the man, the other world that she enters that transforms her life.  Vice versa, the man can be stuck, too, and it's the woman who changes him. 

At the heart of Cinderella, is the transformation by love, and isn't that really what romance novels are about?   I'm certainly not suggesting that romance novels are about women wanting to be rescued, but I think as writers and even as readers, it's interesting to think about why certain story lines are popular.  A lot of women who read romance are successful business women, who don't need or maybe even want a man to complete their real lives, but in books is the fantasy still appealing?

Women often feel they have to defend their love of reading romance novels, as if there's something wrong with a little fantasy.  What do you think?  Aren't most stories descendants of myths and fairy tales, be it Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast, or Snow White or ... whatever?   

Are you a sucker for Cinderella?  Do you prefer books that stay completely away from this story line?  Or do you think, as I do, that the Cinderella story line is not so much about a woman meeting a prince, but a man and a woman being transformed by love?       

Brenda Novak's 4th Annual On-line Auction--The Countdown Begins

I can't believe that after a year of building my 4th Annual On-line Auction for Diabetes Research, it's almost opening day. I'm so excited! Partly because the work will soon be over (LOL), and partly because it's bigger and better than ever. Last year, we had about 740 items. This year...drum roll, please...we will have 1300, many of which can't be found anywhere else.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the auction, this is an annual event I run at BrendaNovak.com May 1 - May 31st every year (in honor of Mother's Day). My youngest son was diagnosed with diabetes when he was only five--and we've been hoping for a cure ever since.

In the first three auctions, we managed to raise a combined total of $250,000. This year, we're hoping to match that amount. How? By offering some AMAZING items and opportunities. I'm humbled and amazed by the generosity of my donors, who have provided too many exciting things to list here, so you'll have to hop over and check it out. But just to whet your appetite, how would you like to win:

A framed picture autographed by Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly and Geoffrey Rush?

A trip to Hawaii including airfare, accommodations, surf lessons AND spending money courtesy of Author Jane Porter?

A lovely Victorian Wedgewood Cameo donated by Author Dianna Drake?

A Kindle with a $100 Amazon Gift Certificate from K.M. Daughters?

An amazing flying trip courtesy of Margie Lawson and her husband?

A trip to San Francisco, Eaton's Ranch, Las Vegas, New York or Africa?

An 8 GB Nano with a $100 iTunes gift certificate from Author Carly Phillips?

An advanced reading copy of a book from one of your favorite authors, including Nora Roberts, Julia Quinn, and Robin D. Owens?

Rare and out-of-print books by authors like Loretta Chase?

YOUR NAME in Author Sherrilyn Kenyon's next Dark Hunter book?

A designer handbag or wallet courtesy of Superromance Author Anna DeStefano?

A framed drumhead and drum sticks signed by Beyonce, Madonna, Shakira, Michael Jackson, Ringo Starr, Bruce Springstein, Justin Timberlake, Paul McCartney, Bono and more?

A once-in-a-lifetime chance to have lunch with Diana Gabaldon, Jayne Ann Krentz, Catherine Coulter, JR Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Christine Feehan, MaryJanice Davidson, Ridley Pearson and more?

How does it work? Just like E-Bay. You shop the entire month of May (there are also one-day auctions going on each day so be sure to check the schedule), bid on whatever you like and pay for what you win via Paypal, credit card, or personal check/money order after the auction ends. The person who places the highest number of bids over all, even if that person doesn't win a single item, will be awarded an amazing prize package that includes a brand new Camcorder (retail value of at least $1,000), Your Name in Brenda Novak's Next Book, an autographed copy of TRUST ME (out May 27th), and lots of yummy chocolate!

And that's not all. As a way to promote the auction, Debbie Macomber, Susan Wiggs, Allison Brennan and I are sponsoring a very fun drawing, the winner of which will take a friend on an exciting trip to Port Orchard, WA and Bainbridge Island that includes airfare, accommodations, entertainment, massages, and more. Go to BrendaNovak.com to enter the drawing, register for the auction and receive a $10 bidding credit.

Are you the type to shop on-line? Would you do it to help a certain cause? What types of things have you won at charity auctions in the past? Do you think a month is too long for this event?

I'm always looking for ways to improve the auction, so please feel free to give me your feedback.

Here's to making a difference!

Brenda Novak

Monica Talks One True Love

I was flipping through a catalog the other day and came across a game meant to spark conversation at parties and one of the questions jumped out at me:  "Is there only one soul mate for each person?"

It got me thinking about another conversation I'd had with some of the divas at lunch a while ago about individual likes/dislikes in romances.  I know it’s narrow, I know it’s silly, I know it’s immature (and some of the people at lunch told me so!) but I usually don’t like it when either the hero or heroine has been in love before. 

Why do I feel like this?  I think it all comes down to that question I posed at the top.  I believe there is only one person who is your true soul mate.  Admittedly this might be a function of where I am in my life right now, and maybe--i.e. should my soul mate decide to divorce me and marry Bubbles--in twenty years I might feel differently.  (But let's hope I never have to cross that particular bridge!)

To me a romance is all about finding that one true love—the perfect soul mate—and to paraphrase the late Princess, three people in the relationship makes it kind of crowded.

Now it’s not to say I can’t be won over—Penny Williamson’s Passions of Emma comes to mind—but it  doesn’t happen often.   

What about you, do you think you can have more than one soul mate?  Do you even believe in the idea of a soul mate?  Do you have any “turn offs” in romances? 

Thanks to all. The winners are . . .

Thanks all for taking the quiz. Probably all the Divas will now be writing books about cops or soldiers who look like Gerald Butler, crave honor and justice, are good with weapons, and look good in a . . . well, in impeccable tailoring, a uniform, jeans, or a kilt. You were pretty evenly divided about what your hero might be wearing. And there were some requests for Eric Bana (Jami) Raoul Bova, Josh Duhamel, and Dwayne, The Rock, Johnson. I might add Eduardo Verastegui. Our witty and courageous heroines will save, conquer, and inspire the guy in a reunion story or forced partnership with lots of twists and turns.

Now, which Diva is right for you?

If you love a man in law enforcement or the military, check out Barbara Freethy’s “Taken,” Allison Brennan’s No Evil trilogy, and Karin Tabke’s hot cops.

If you crave a reunion story, and over half of you picked this theme, Diva Carol Grace offers “Their Greek Island Reunion;” Barbara Freethy’s current thriller is “Silent Run,” a reunion with a twist; Jami Alden offers “Delicious;” and Bella Andre offers “Red Hot Reunion.”

If you want Gerry Butler in a kilt, wielding a mighty weapon, you want Diva Monica’s Highlander series, such as “Highlander Untamed,” or Karin Tabke’s upcoming (June 2008) “Master of Surrender.” To find the earl of your dreams, you might turn to Candice Hern, mistress of Regency delight. Candice also offers that “wager” plot, that so many of you like, in her National Reader’s Choice Finalist book, “Lady Be Bad.”

For that plot marked by twists and turns that so many of you requested, Brenda Novak, Barbara Freethy, and Allison Brennan might be your Diva matches. For sparkling humor and a heroine of wit, Divas Carol Grace and Candice Hern are your match.

And the winners are:

Winner #1 wants a law-enforcement hero who looks like The Rock, desires honor, and handles weapons. She wants a heroine with sass working in a forced partnership with the hero on a journey of twists and turns. Leah Braemel. A Brenda Novak book might work for you.

Winner #2 wants a military hero who looks like Daniel Craig, craves justice, is good with small children, at home in jeans. He meets a heroine of wit in a reunion story with those unpredictable twists and turns. Aly. A Barbara Freethy book might work for you.

Winner #3 is easy to please, but she does want a man who’s good with horses. She might like ex-Diva Barbara McMahon’s cowboy stories or Kate Moore’s "A Prince Among Men." In the meantime Caffey, a Monic McCarty book might be just right.

Winners please email me at moore.kate0@gmail.com with your snail mail address to receive your book. Thanks all.

Kate asks “Which Diva is right for you?”

Or are you a multi-Diva reader? Take today’s quiz and find out.

1. Do you want your hero to be in:
a) law enforcement
b) the military (or ex)
c) the titled nobility of England, Scotland, or an Arab Kingdom
d) any of the above

2. Do you want your hero to look like:
a) Gerard Butler
b) Daniel Craig
c) George Clooney
d) All of the above

3. Your hero’s ruling passion (until he meets his heroine) should be:
a) honor
b) family
c) justice
d) ambition

4. Do you want the hero to be good with:
a) horses
b) dogs
c) small children
d) weapons

5. Do you prefer your hero in:
a) the best tailoring
b) a uniform
c) jeans
d) a kilt

6. Do you want your heroine to have:
a) wit
b) sass
c) courage
d) kindness

7. Do you want your heroine to:
a) save the hero
b) conquer the hero
c) inspire the hero
d) all of the above

8. Do you like:
a) a reunion story
b) an arranged marriage story
c) a forced partnership story
d) a wager story

9. A read that satisfies you needs:
a) sparkling humor
b) chilling danger
c) unpredictable twists and turns
d) a three-hanky dark moment

Take the quiz to find out which Diva or Divas you click with. Three lucky participants drawn at random will receive a Diva book for joining us today. Post your results to enter. One entry per email address. I’m off to give a workshop for other teachers, but I’ll be back to check on you in the afternoon.

It’s tough to stay positive in the publishing business these days, but the Divas are doing it—writing their stories, making lists, garnering Top pick reviews and awards, and all the while supporting each other on the ride, which has more up and downs than the Cable Car from Market Street to Ghirardelli Square. We appreciate our readers. Thanks all.

Jami Needs a New Car

Well, only if you ask my husband. Personally, I am very content to continue driving my 1998 Audi A6 wagon with 4wd drive and 150k miles.  The car was already nicely broken in by the time the kids were born, and they've done their part to enhance the decor. Why would I need something new?

But my husband disagrees. He says he wants me in something newer and safer, something that will explode in a flurry of airbags if I so much as tap another car. 

And okay, I admit it would be nice to have a car where all the speakers worked and my son couldn't pull off pieces of plastic paneling as he fidgets in his car seat.

But what to buy? And before you even go there, no, I won't get a minivan.  Yes, I drove my sister in law's brand new Honda Odyssey and  yes the build in DVD was great and how cool is the rear back up cam, and holy crap you can fit a lot of car seats in there!

But I cannot go there. I cannot speed down the highway, Foo Fighters cranked on my Ipod, and know that everyone I drive past is going, MOM CAR.  I'm not a big car aficionado (see above) but I'm determined to hold onto some illusion that motherhood hasn't completely overtaken my life.

Oh, and Bella, you're totally exempt from this because you bought your minivan because it enabled your ROCK STAR lifestyle.  Totally different thing. Kind of like how I could totally get into a station wagon (the previous generation's minivan) because it meant I could put my dogs in the back.

Right now we're leaning toward the Honda Pilot.  Yep, I know, a small SUV is just one step away from the minivan, but somehow I feel it's not a complete surrender.

So what do you drive?  Do you love it?  Maybe you can help convince me that need to let go of my minivan prejudice.

Karin Talks Couples

As a writer, I know that if my couple, my hero and my heroine do not have an instant cataclysmic reaction to each other, then I am doomed.  Couples must have chemistry.  Chemistry that jumps off the page. That doesn’t mean they have to fall instantly in love.  Hell no, sometimes it’s the complete opposite.  All the better, my pretty.  Because if there is no chemistry, when you force two people together who are not a natural fit, well, it becomes work, and I’m not talking about a happy chore, I’m talking about a tiresome task.  Talk about trying to jam a circle into a square peg.

The reason I picked this topic today is yesterday hubby and I were watching the CMT’s that we missed the previous Monday night.  Keith Urban who I have always adored opened.  Now for those of you who are in the know you know he has had substance abuse problems in the past, and last year he spent a few months in rehab after his much publicized marriage to Nicole Kidman, who I revere.  Anyhow, as Keith was up there on stage singing I noticed that he had put on a pound or two (it looked good) and he was all over that stage in happiness.  It oozed from him.  His smile, his skin, his mannerisms, his voice. He was happy.  Really really happy.  I grinned and thought, now that’s a guy head over heels in love with his woman.  Lucky Nicole.  And there she was beaming in the audience. I smiled for a long time and then I thought about other couples.  Brad and Ange came to mind.  Just the night before my son and I watched, Beowulf.  Angelina Jolie is so damn hot, I’m sure she just freaking melts things when she walks by. So I ask you, how the hell could Brad have resisted that?  I liked him and Jen, I was furious when he shacked up with Angie, but I have to tell you, together the two make one hell of a power couple and have single-handily raised not only Hollywood’s awareness of the tragedies in Africa but the world’s as well.  Kudos to them. 

Conversely just mention Tom and Katie and I get sick. Rosanne and that Tom guy?  Gag me with a spoon. Grrr and when Sir Paul married that gold digger I nearly died. I can think of several other Hollywierd couples who annoy the hell out of me, but I’m not writing this as a rrant, but a testament to power couples whose chemistry and energy as a couple leaps at you from the pages or the screen.

Here are a few more I think rank up at the top of the best all time couples list: Bogie and Becall. Sinatra and Ava, now there was a volatile relation if ever there was one!  How about Hepburn and Tracy?  The fact that he was married bugs me, but you cannot deny their chemistry.  How about the ill-fated Carey Grant and Sophia Loren?  Damn he had it bad for her.  I’m always sorry to see long term couples fade out.  I was very sorry when Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid split.  She says it wasn’t because of hunky Russell Crowe, but…And what about the recent spilt of Sean Penn and Robin what’s her name?  Although I heard they retraced their divorce papers.  Heck, when Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger were married I thought, Good for them!  Four months later I felt really bad for them both.

Okay, so this brings me to my question for today:  Who is your all time favorite couple and if you have one that gives you the heebie-geebies feel free to share that too.  J

Bella Wants to Know: Where do you buy books?